go the fuck to sleep
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iYamWhatIYam Offline
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#1
go the fuck to sleep
it's time for bed. tell us a story.

Novice animator and general animation fanatic, Bob Clampett advocate, and generally apathetic towards Mega Man as a character. Amateur chip musician, but that's second priority.
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(This post was last modified: 26-01-2017, 03:04 AM by iYamWhatIYam.)
26-01-2017, 03:02 AM
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Entity1037 Offline
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#2
RE: go the fuck to sleep
ok

The cats nestle close to their kittens now.
The lambs have laid down with the sheep.
You’re cozy and warm in your bed, my dear.
Please go the fuck to sleep.

The windows are dark in the town, child.
The whales huddle down in the deep.
I’ll read you one very last book if you swear
You’ll go the fuck to sleep.

The eagles who soar through the sky are at rest
And the creatures who crawl, run, and creep.
I know you’re not thirsty. That’s bullshit. Stop lying.
Lie the fuck down, my darling, and sleep.

The wind whispers soft through the grass, hon.
The field mice, they make not a peep.
It’s been thirty-eight minutes already.
Jesus Christ, what the fuck? Go to sleep.

All the kids from day care are in dreamland.
The froggie has made his last leap.
Hell no, you can’t go to the bathroom.
You know where you can go? The fuck to sleep.

The owls fly forth from the treetops.
Through the air, they soar and they sweep.
A hot crimson rage fills my heart, love.
For real, shut the fuck up and sleep.

The cubs and the lions are snoring,
Wrapped in a big snuggly heap.
How is it you can do all this other great shit
But you can’t lie the fuck down and sleep?

The seeds slumber beneath the earth now
And the crops that the farmers will reap.
No more questions. This interview’s over.
I’ve got two words for you, kid: fucking sleep.

The tiger reclines in the simmering jungle.
The sparrow has silenced her cheep.
Fuck your stuffed bear, I’m not getting you shit.
Close your eyes. Cut the crap. Sleep.

The flowers doze low in the meadows
And high on the mountains so steep.
My life is a failure, I’m a shitty-ass parent.
Stop fucking with me, please, and sleep.

The giant pangolins of Madagascar are snoozing.
As I lie here and openly weep.
Sure, fine, whatever, I’ll bring you some milk.
Who the fuck cares? You’re not gonna sleep.

This room is all I can remember.
The furniture crappy and cheap.
You win. You escape. You run down the hall.
As I nod the fuck off, and sleep.

Bleary and dazed I awaken
To find your eyes shut, so I keep
My fingers crossed tight as I tiptoe away
And pray that you’re fucking asleep.

We’re finally watching our movie.
Popcorn’s in the microwave. Beep.
Oh shit. Goddamn it. You’ve gotta be kidding.
Come on, go the fuck back to sleep.

Programming a thing, ba da baa, programming a thing, ba da baa...
(This post was last modified: 26-01-2017, 03:18 AM by Entity1037.)
26-01-2017, 03:18 AM
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Garirry Offline
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#3
RE: go the fuck to sleep
Did you just assume my time zone?!
26-01-2017, 03:20 AM
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The Mega Fan 19XX Offline
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#4
RE: go the fuck to sleep


26-01-2017, 03:27 AM
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notencore Offline
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#5
RE: go the fuck to sleep
waaaaaaaaaaaah, no, tell another story
26-01-2017, 01:02 PM
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MrKyurem Offline
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#6
RE: go the fuck to sleep
ok here's another story

once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle
he was so ugly that everyone died
the end

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26-01-2017, 01:22 PM
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sovietcommando Offline
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#7
RE: go the fuck to sleep
Once upon a time, [insert protagonist] faced a problem, but later resolved it in a very roundabout manner.

The End.

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26-01-2017, 04:30 PM
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iYamWhatIYam Offline
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#8
RE: go the fuck to sleep
these are high-quality stories, i request more to ensure a successful slumber

Novice animator and general animation fanatic, Bob Clampett advocate, and generally apathetic towards Mega Man as a character. Amateur chip musician, but that's second priority.
Check out the CartoonCo blog!
26-01-2017, 07:12 PM
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Scorpio Offline
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#9
RE: go the fuck to sleep
*ahem*

Johnny is poor and has been all his life. He doesn't mind it much, except for the fact that every year when the circus comes to town, he never gets to see it. The years pass and every year he watches the circus come and go with a tear in his eye. Then one year as the circus is leaving, he snaps. "Screw it," he says." I'm going to get myself a job so I can see the circus."

The next day he applies for a job at a supermarket stacking shelves. He gets this job and works his heart out. He works every night stacking shelves, earning money. He spends very little, and saves heaps. He is the best worker the supermarket has ever seen. A year passes, and the circus comes to town.

As soon as the gates to the circus open, Johnny races up, first in line to buy a ticket. the excitement overwhelms him. He walks around the circus. He sees the animals, the freak show, buys a hot dog, plays on the clowns. And then he sees it, what he's been waiting for all these years...The Big Top.

Johnny races into the tent and takes a seat. Pretty soon the tent fills up and the show begins. It's a packed house and the buzz is electric. The dancing horses come out, then the elephants, then everyone's favorite, the clowns. The clowns run around and do their act making everyone laugh. When all this is finished, the head clown picks up a microphone and says "Now we'd like to pick a member of the audience to help with our show."

All the lights go out and a spotlight circles the crowd. and, as luck should have it, it lands on Johnny. Johnny is ecstatic, he nearly shits his pants with excitement. He can't believe his luck. The head clown comes up to him and says..

"Hey mister, are you the horse's head?"

"No." Johnny replies.

"Are you the horse's ear?"

"No"

"Are you the horse's tail?"

"No"

"Then you must be the horse's ASS!!!!"

And then whole tent erupts into fits of laughter all of Johnny's expense. Everyone is laughing, except for Johnny. He's as pissed as fuck. He vows then and there that next year, when the circus comes to town, he'll get his revenge on the clown.

As he's walking home, still fuming from the humiliation that the clown caused, Johnny thinks of ways that he can get back at the clown. Death, violence, poisoning....and then it hits him. Johnny will give the clown a taste of his own medicine. Next year, Johnny will blast the clown with the biggest insult ever!

The next morning Johnny flips through the phonebook looking for someone who can help him with his revenge. Then he finds an ad.

INSULT SCHOOL
Sick of being picked on? Come to our school and soon you'll be verbally attacking people with vigor!
'This is just what I need!!!" says Johnny. So he rings up the school and enrolls the next day.

So every day Johnny goes to the insult school, studying hard so he can learn the best and most harsh insult so he can get back at the clown. On top of this, he still stacks shelves at the supermarket to get the money for the circus. Day in, day out Johnny works his ass off.
Then his day arrives...

As soon as the circus opens it's gates Johnny barges to the front of the line, pushing people out of his way. No longer is he a kind, considerate man. He's a pissed off mofo hell bent on revenge. He give the ticket seller the money, snatches the ticket and storms off.

He sees all the regular shit. The animals, the freaks, the clowns. He's so excited that he goes into the Big Top an hour before the show starts, just so he can get a good seat. The tent begins to fill up and the show starts...

The dancing horses come out, Johnny yawns. Then the elephants, Johnny tries to stay awake. And then the act Johnny has waited a year for, the clowns. The clowns run around and do their act making everyone laugh. Johnny wonders why everyone is laughing, it's the same shit they did last year. When all this is finished, the head clown picks up a microphone, exactly the same as last year, and says "Now we'd like to pick a member of the audience to help with our show."

All the lights go out and a spotlight circles the crowd. and, as luck should have it again, it lands on Johnny. Johnny is sits cool, calm and collected. The head clown comes up to him and says..

"Hey mister, are you the horse's head?"

"No." Johnny replies.

"Are you the horse's ear?"

"No"

"Are you the horse's tail?"

"No"

"Then you must be the horse's ASS!!!!"

And again the whole tent erupts with laughter. Except for Johnny. He sits there staring straight at the clown, a look of pure evil and hate on his face. The laughter quickly dies down as everyone knows something is going to happen. The crowd watched. This is Johnny's moment. He takes a deep breath, looks at the clown and says...

...



...



...



...



...



...



...



...



.



.



.




"Screw you, clowny."
[spoiler]
And this is a short version.
[/spoiler]
(This post was last modified: 27-01-2017, 01:32 AM by Scorpio.)
27-01-2017, 01:30 AM
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DoomManFTW Offline
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#10
RE: go the fuck to sleep
There was once a kid named Jimmy. Jimmy moved in a town called The Bad Joke Town, which took bad jokes to the extreme.
At one point Jimmy went to try some ice cream, but it was just melted ice in a bowl. He didn't like it at all. Later he called his friend *to come to his house and play*, even though his friend's name wasn't that, it was Steve.
After an hour of playing Chess, Jimmy was winning. "Check mate", but Steve asked "What am I supposed to check?". Jimmy just said "Never mind" trying to not make it more complicated. "But I always had a mind, what are you talking about?" said Steve.

Years later, Jimmy got tired of this town and left, but the way out was on the right...
27-01-2017, 11:43 AM
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Entity1037 Offline
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#11
RE: go the fuck to sleep
Once upon a time, a person existed.
The person wanted something.
However, the person encountered something that made it hard to get that thing.
But they managed to get it anyway.
The End.

Programming a thing, ba da baa, programming a thing, ba da baa...
(This post was last modified: 27-01-2017, 07:10 PM by Entity1037.)
27-01-2017, 07:09 PM
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Smedis2 Offline
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#12
RE: go the fuck to sleep
I wish you good night,
I wish you farewell.
But I won't sleep too tight,
for my ass burns like hell.

I tried using soap
And a small paper towel
But I still feel the burn,
All I can do is howl.

I can curse and I can swear,
I can make a fuss of it.
But now all I feel is pain
when I try to take a shit.

I wish you good night,
I wish you farewell.
But I won't sleep too tight,
for my ass burns like hell.

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27-01-2017, 08:15 PM
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gone-sovereign Offline
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#13
RE: go the fuck to sleep
Once upon a time
Before the lakes and rivers were polluted
Before the animals were poached to extinction
And before man had destroyed the earth's atmosphere
There was a great ship.

This vessel was to venture into new waters
To find new resources, to make life easier and more enjoyable.

It was a simple mission for the crew
Who were excited to be a part of this union
They pledged their allegiance to the captain
And vowed to be there no matter what
In sickness, health, and possible death

As time passed by, there was no new land to be found
As the days grew shorter
And the nights grew longer and colder
The crew became more and more skeptical about the captain's vision
Originally passionate and committed true and faithful
They now began to revolt.

You crossed the line
I was honest
I never promised anything
Just a brotherhood to stand for something
And everyone should take the lead
Follow your dreams
If you don't try, you fail

As the mutiny started and the captain was overthrown and chained
He asked them why their minds had changed
There's no gold to be found, no treasure in the ground
We won't die for this
We won't die for you

You've lost your minds
I was honest
I never promised anything
Just a brotherhood to stand for something
And even if they disagree
Follow your dreams
If you don't try, you fail

This dream is now
A shipwreck in the sand
They gave up, they made all their demands
The storm consumed fifty seven souls
Who died in vain, his love they stole

This union, a battle fought and lost
This union is not about the cause
This union was never about love

This union, this union
This union, a battle fought and lost
This union is not about the cause
The union was never about love

This union, this union
This union, a battle fought and lost
This union was about about the cause
This union was never about a love

"You have to understand that people aren't just people -- they're a collection of the choices they have made."
- Peckinpah, House of Gold & Bones Part 3: The Answers
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28-01-2017, 02:08 PM
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